It’s about magic

Part of the reason that I didn’t post as much as I did is that it was a pain.  Yes, I am that lazy.  Actually, it was more about consistency on my part:  if the text size doesn’t match from entry to entry, I get angry, cos the flow of it is all fucked up. 

So I went and installed the Windows7 beta and got all hopped up on this Windows Live thing, which just happens to include this Windows Live Writer, which allows me to connect to the blog and more tightly control the text size.  I know that Blogspot allows this, too, but for whatever reason it was always a pain in the ass for me.  Primarily because I have been known to indulge in weed, and that makes it hard for me to remember things like, “Did I use Small text or Smaller?” and “Where did I leave the baby?”.

Which reminds me. 

I have another blog, too, which I set up cos Andrea thought it would be fun for you all to read about how much I hate my child due to her screaming for hours on end, and the fact that I constantly have to make sure she isn’t headed for Head Trauma Central.  I sort of thought that I should as well, because I have a daughter now, and I feel weird when I write about the cute shit that she does(OMG she has teefus!!!1; OMG she’s standing on her own!!!1) being part of the same blog(not necessarily the same post) that I write about my excessive hatred for Miley Cyrus and how I hope that some day she is found in a ditch somewhere, raped to the point of catatonia. 

I know, some of you are shocked.  “I have a daughter now,” you are saying to your screen, which is weird because I can not hear you.  “What if that happens to her?!?!”  I realize this, and it’s something that I have rationalized away by knowing that I am a horrible asshole, and that bad things are going to happen to me, not her.  And let’s face it, if that shit was going to happen, she would have been born a horrific tumor of flesh and mewling, because I have said and done some shit in my day.

So yeah, I have a stay at home dad blog, it just won’t be updated much(well, you’re used to that), cos I doubt that most of you want to read about how I ignore her and look at girls boobies online, how I feed her mush while trying to watch shitty movies, and how I ignore her and play XBox.  That shit is boring.

Also:  I don’t know if any of you have read Tucker Max, but a good 90% of his stories are pretty hilarious.  As Ryan has brought up, there is some questionable validity to his writing, but that’s besides the point.  Funny is funny.  If placed in a context of actually happening, it’s fucking hilarious.  Where I’m going with this, is I have done some awful shit in my day.  It just happens to be funny, because it was done to random anonymous people that went to Bowdoin College, so you know they’re rich trust fund fuckers, and those people rank one step above sex offenders.  Which means you can do anything you want to them, and it’s not bad.  Let me know if you want to read some of them.

Been awhile

Sorry I haven’t been around.  I wish I could say that I’ve been doing something awesome, like secretly tainting blood supplies in predominantly homosexual communities with AIDS, but I haven’t and that’s just wrong.  Mostly I’ve been sitting at home, watching shitty daytime television and keeping the child from sticking whatever metal implement I’m letting her play with at the moment in whatever outlet she happens to be around.  Because first and foremost, I am a good father.

So anyway, it’s April, which means that we are once again free from the oppressive winter overlord.  We moved into a new apartment, as those of you that are here from Facebook already know, and it is good.  Being above ground is sweet, especially after having spent an entire year in a basement.  Security is cool at first, but then you realize like that “windows” aren’t just because teenagers need something to throw rocks at.  Them shits is important.

Unless it’s fucking 6:30am and your house faces eastward.  Then you crave the cold clammy basement.  I’m seriously thinking of tin-foiling the fuck out of these windows.  Let the neighbors think I’m crazy, it’ll keep the fuckers away from the car.

I know, I sound like a bitch.  “You wanted these precious windows, you asshole,” you say to me in my head.  “You wanted to get above ground like a real person, and see what the fuss is about.”
”Yes, this is true,” I reply back to you, also in my head.  “But as a person, I reserve the right to bitch and complain and reverse my decision all the fucking time.  It’s called being an American, and I fucking rule at it.  Now get out of my head.”.

But other than that, the moving thing, I’ve got nothing to really tell you all about.  Yes, we’ve all seen ‘Watchmen’ and know how fucking good it was."  Yes, we all know that Alan Moore is officially a pissy old dude with a creepy beard and tells people he’s into magic and shit(really Alan??  In the 21st century???).  Yes, I’m going to sit here and tell you that I’m going to work harder at updating this, not that it matters; the three of you that probably read this are long gone, bound for finer pastures.  But honestly, I will.  I have a new program that lets me do this shit without even logging into the blog.  And I fucking love technology that makes it easier, almost rewarding you, for being lazy.  Now if' you’ll excuse me, I have some creepy anime to watch.  I’ll talk to you about it later.