I guess that's about right.

I don't know why the text in the previous entry is all fucked up. Sometimes, I just can't get this stupid fucking thing to do what I want. Never had this problem on Myspace. I got bombarded by just about every shitty local band ever wanting to be my "friend". So yeah, that's me apologizing for the shitty flow of the previous entry. I hate it when my entries lack a consistency. Dunno why.

So unless you've been living under a rock or just plain don't give a fuck, Heath Ledger is dead. If you've followed me over here from my Myspace blog, you may know that I don't really believe in sacred cows. You may also know that when Anna Nicole Smith died, I more or less savaged her and ripped into her something fierce. Part of that is cos that I found her somewhat disgusting and reprehensible. Part of that is cos, well, I thought it was pretty fucking funny. Her death wasn't an "if" but a matter of "is it going to happen this week or next??".
And...I just don't think I'll be able to do that with Heath Ledger. I suppose you could say that yes, I did enjoy chunks of his work; 10 Things I Hate About You was actually a pretty goddamn good adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, The Brothers Grimm had its moments, and I was really looking forward to Brokeback Mountain 2: Backbrace Hill. I guess it's not happening now.
This is probably the last time this will ever roll out of my fingers(?), so make sure you get a screenshot or something, cos it probably will not happen again: his death sucks because he had a lot to offer, and because it wasn't one of those things that you saw coming. I don't really think I'll make too many jokes about it, simply because he didn't set himself up for those like ANS did. Sure, he made Knights Tale, but whatever. He mostly made good flicks. And it sucks that he's done. And that's all I can really say about that.

Anyway.
I saw Cloverfield and goddammah, was that a fucking movie. I haven't had as much...well, fun at a movie in I don't know when. Banana will back me up on this one, but I was having a fucking ball with this movie. Mr. Abrams and that other guy from Felicity, kudos to you. Also, Drew Goddard, writer of film? You know how you did. You don't need to hear it from me.
Warren Ellis did bring up something interesting, though, in one of the email thingies I get from him. He "...think[s] it's nice that everyone has permission once more to blow up and crush major American landmarks and generous swathes of real estate."
Well said, Warren. I'm going to drop a spoiler bomb here, but not only is the Statue of Liberty beheaded, the Empire State Building collapses in a rather spectacular fashion. I guess the time span for awful things happening to New York City has passed and we can once more smash buildings, lives, and property with gleeful abandon once more. Which is great, cos I've got this idea for a movie where a bunch of intergalactic trouble makers crash their flying saucer into the Flatiron Building to teach us pink fleshy bags where our place in the universe really is. And then they are just going to straight tear up New York(it used to be Cleveland). I mean, they are just going to fucking regulate on NYC, because apparently it is okay now.

The whole "holding off on fucking with NYC in movies" thing sort of bothered me. I mean, it was like being unable to call the kid who just got over bone cancer a pussy cos he sucked at Madden or some shit. I fail to see what his previous bone cancer has to do with his inability to run a virtual football virtually 10 yards.
On that same note: just cos something seriously fucked up happened to NYC in real life, we are unable to show any sort of trauma to it in an imaginary world. I mean, are we a nation of adults, or are we a nation of traumatized pussy 10 year olds that are getting over bone cancer?

What up?

"It's not anti-feminist to want to hit a woman.
"It's anti-feminist to avoid hitting a woman for the same misdeed that would lead you to hit a man."

I found that on the Joystiq article reply boards(or whatever the fuck they're called) today. I go there often, when I'm feelin' low, and I just read the biggest collection of ignorance, jackassery, shitty spelling and grammar, and soak it in. I just hang out there for awhile and then when I feel real good and dumb, that's when I know I'm ready to read some comics.
But every now and then, you get a little nugget like this. And goddamn, if that ain't a good Strangler-sized one.

Um.

So today was a great day because I fucking watched one woman take a fucking dump into another womans asshole today. Yeah. I watched about 10 seconds of it, and then I got so goddamned excited that I was bringing a child into this world I had to turn it off.
I'm not a prude or anything like that, but come on now. Shitting into someone's asshole? What does that achieve? Where are you going with that. I get strap-on's and vibrators and fucking sit'n spins and the Chinese fuck swing and all that shit. You're getting off on that. But taking a dump into someone else's butt? Dammit.

I also watched 'Jesus Camp' today, and that's pretty much the exact opposite end of the fucking "WHAT THE FUCK" spectrum. It disturbs me cos these are children, children that are being subjected to this sort of hocus pocus fucking mentality of Christianity. I'm an atheist, but I'm down with the general message of Christianity: don't fuck with me, and shit will be cool....if you're white. I'm chill with that. But these fuckers are speaking in tounges and waggling around, and there's this one little boy with the most unfortunate haircut since I don't know when...and it just made me so angry. Like where do you draw the line? Where is the line between buttfucking crazy and devout? If you saw someone mumbing in a made up language on the subway or some shit, you'd stay away from them, and shit, they'd probably get arrested. But if you do this shit in a church....you're feeling the Holy Spirit. And it's totally normal.
Only with religion does crazy shit fly. If I told you that there were Asian women shitting diamonds every Thursday, you'd expect a little proof before you buy that. But if I told you that God(it's his name, dude) killed his only son, his only son that was also him, just to teach us a lesson, a vast majority of the population would buy it and not think it's the most dickweed thing EVAR to do. I mean, c'mon. He once told a dude to kill his son to show him that he believed in him, then pulled a psyche at that last moment. That's so fucking 6th grade. Omnipotent being my ass.
Other than all the anger shit, you know it's great. Watching this bleach blond fatty ask God to keep Satan out of the laptops for the show is rad. I'm pretty sure that if there is a Satan, he's probably pretty involved in the daily running of Hell to dick around with a VAIO. But that's just me.

Well, there's that....

It's pretty much just me and the pets in the house these days, 'cept on the weekends when Banana sees so fit as to grace me with her presence. It's rad...Ha ha ha ha...I keed, I keed. So yeah, since I've got all this free time and no one to talk to, I go back to the one thing that will always love me, and it will never, ever leave me.
The Internet.
Oh, blessed internet. With your vast and endless collection of pornography, videos of people getting seriously hurt, and shitty web comics. You are quite possible the greatest thing to happen to humanity, better even than modern medicine, the written word, and even artificial meat flavoring. But the reason that the internet kicks so much ass and is so great is that it gave birth to one thing: XBox Live.
Never before has one thing allowed so many latently homophobic and/or racist man children to gather in one place and exchange insults without having to worry if the dude you're calling a faggot is actually the size of Master Chief. I know what some of you are going to say, "Hey ass master, this shit has been rolling large since they had BBS's and shit. Where have you been?" Dude, that shit was for a very limited section of the population, we call them nerds. XBox Live is for everyone: from that jock that gave you wedgies in gym class to the band geek with bad skin. They're all on Live, and they're shooting each other. Best part? You can hear the hate in their voice. That's the turn on for me. Hearing the actual contempt dripping from someone's voice when they ask me why I'm playing like a nigger. Whatever that means.

Anyway, here's the point of this whole thing: with the threat of fatherhood looming over me, I discovered a video of a 9 year old arguing with his mother but neglecting to turn off his headset. I also discovered that hitting your children is not necessarily a bad thing. Shit, sometimes putting your child through a wall is the best fucking thing to do. So yeah, peep this video cos it's a Clan Match. And if you really, really want to see some funny shit, you can also watch this one, too.
And hey, bro's out there?? Don't let your friends play Live like this. Seriously. This shit is about as uncalled for as Age of Consent laws. You got a friend that plays like this, smack him down in real life. Cos there are too many of these stains playing Live these days. Let's keep the racism and homophobic comments where they belong: in our sports stadiums and on our battlefield...and the Union meetings.

I stand before you, humbled and ashamed

So I found out something today, a pretty big something, and I just wanted to spread the horror around a little bit. I always thought that deaf chicks were these chaste, innocent beings. That somehow being spared the ability to hear the many evils that sprout forth from a man's mouth would spare them the horror of multiple penetration.
Apparently not.
Apparently drunk chicks can be serious whores, too. I warn you, it's NSFW, but it's totally worth it to see the chick sign, "Soon, we're going to jail" and to hear a drunk persons' toneless laugh.
Deaf Gone Wild
If you own this, you should be ashamed. But goddamn, it's really funny.

Apparently there's a whole sub-culture of deaf porn. And from what I saw, it's the funniest shit ever. They're like fingerbanging each other and then signing "Do you like how I'm fucking you" and other assorted loving words of encouragement. I mean, what the fuck? It's just...man, I don't know, maybe I'm just fundamentally screwed up in that I never saw it being so important that deaf people had their own porn. Is it that important that they sign "I'm going to fuck you in the ass" to each other before they do it? Could he just sort of put his finger in her butt and when she turns around, give her the thumbs up and point at her butt?
Actually, that'd be even funnier than what's going on now.