If there's two things that I like, they're anime and deals. They go together like penis and vagina. Unless you're not into that shit. But whatever. Anyway, while shopping at Stop and Shop the other day, I came across three anime DVD's for $2.99. I figure, hey, what the hell? One of them was definitely Captain Herlock/Harlock, and the other two had giant robots flying around. How could it possibly be bad? Even when I get a dollar movie from Wal-Mart and it's shitty, at least I get a kick out of it.
Then I saw Protectors of Universe. Yeah, totally. To call this movie "written" is being really, really, really fucking polite. This movie makes absolutely no sense. It's like they took a bunch of shit from other anime, mashed it together, and then well....and then I guess everyone was super loaded the entire time, too.
I watched about 30mins of this, and here's what I figured out: a new star forms, sends out some signal, and then these mohawk sporting blue dudes that attack in submarines. They waste what I thought was Earth, but turns out to be Orion, I think. Orion or whatever freaks out and decides to put ALL THE CHILDREN ON A SPACE TRAIN. I'm not kidding. Eventually Earth releases their giant robot, Mazinger 7....who has a 7 on his belt buckle. He flies around and smashes the blue dudes ships, at one point punching into a cockpit and smashing a dude in the face- that is my favorite part of the whole fucking thing. Like it was personal for the robot.
Anyway, the space train docks into Mazinger 7's butthole. And he flies around with the train in his ass.
Seriously. Someone else made this up, not me. The only possible way I could come up with anything close to this is if drank for about three days straight. And if I did that, I would be too blasted to write.
Then, there's the voice over work. It's so fucking bad. Seriously, I'm sure they just took whomever they say walking down the street and recorded them with an old Fisher Price tape recorder. Hell, some of them didn't even sound like they could read all that well.
Anyone know of any PC DVD playback programs that'll let you take screen caps of whatever you're watching? You gotta see some of this shit.
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