Addendum

Disregard previous post.
No, not an April Fools joke, as that would make me the lamest lame-o ever. Stop fucking saying, "But you already is." If you weren't far away, I'd knife you in the neck, that's how humorless I am today.
This sumbitch that's fixing my car is telling me that not only is the starter fucked, which I already knew, but that the timing belt is fucked. And it's going to cost $1200-1300 to fix. Which is odd, cos the fucking dealer says it's $1050, MAX!!! Furthermore, there's a slim chance that the timing belt is fine.

I am tired and wish to go to sleep. I am also angry and wish to eat mechanic throat right now. And hang his testicles from my rear view.
Maybe not that. It would get a bit foul smelling in there after awhile.