I have never been a funny man

I've actually been spending the better part of the afternoon writing, longhand no less, and it feels good. Well, due to the way I hold my writing implement(I taught myself how to write, so I hold a pen/pencil all fucked up), my hand tends to cramp up real fast, but I keep going. So the point is it doesn't feel good, not physically, but in a mental sort of way..that whole sense of "I'm accomplishing shit, and mayhaps I'll eventually have something to show for it". That's pretty rad.
Oh yeah, so I've been writing today, and although I really like a computer for just about everything else, when I pound out first drafts, I really like to do it longhand, as it makes editing waaaaay easier for me. I can just cross something out, or I can write a little something underneath a paragraph or whatever, and it doesn't fuck up the formatting too much. I know, I know, with a word processor, you could just put that shit into where ever you wanted it to go. It's one of my little weird quirks, of which there are many, but I write the best that way(I think), and again, it's just easier for me.
So where was I going with this....oh yeah.
Stephen King said(actually, he wrote it, but whatever) that if you want to be a writer, you have to be a reader as well. I imagine the same is true for those that want to make a television show, or a movie, or whatever. So I indulge that shit, yo. It can be said that I love, I mean I truely love, very few things on this earth. Unlike TV on the Radio, I was never a lover before this war. But, I do love moving pictures. I'm just very specific about what I do love. And when I love it, I'll run it into the fucking ground, and then dig it back up again just to love it so more.
So I've been watching some TV shows, a few comedies, and I've been reading...just to polish the ol' skill set. I feel rusty on certain things, cos I haven't really written written in a long time. At least, I haven't sat down to write just for the sake of enjoyment, in a long time. And when I started writing this pilot, it wasn't something I did cos I liked it, it was something I did to attain a certain result; mainly: I want to be on television, and I want to be asked for my opinion on shit that does not matter, and I want to offend as many people as possible with something that is absolutely retarded. There's a certain power in offending people, or pissing them off, and I for one, enjoy it...as sick as that may sound. I've always been known for saying shit for shock value(to a point), and since I was never really a big motherfucker, I used the two biggest muscles I was given to maximum effect: my brain and my mouth.
Off topic again, sorry.
Anyway, during writing today, I have to say that I fell back in love with it. Yeah, gay, I know. But there's just something about the smell of the ink, the feel of paper underneath your hand, and the concept that you're actually giving life to these dumbass characters. It feels...I don't know, man. It feels good. I would say it feels godlike, but I don't want to be sued by KMFDM, and plus I don't believe in god. So take that for what it's worth. But goddammit, or goddammah if you see fit, I think I've caught the bug again. As soon as my hand starts to un-cramp, I'm going right back to the grind. And when this shit is finished and gone over with my writing partner, I'll throw a couple of snippets up here so you guys can take a peek. I don't know whether to go with a scene or two, or just actual snippets. We'll see when it's done.
And I have reversed a decision....somewhat. It was suggested that when the pilot is done, we throw it up on YouTube and let you guys take a peek at it, and then tell us how much it sucks. Initially, I was very not for that. I have reversed my decision, again, somewhat. My plan all along for this was to write a draft, film that and watch(to see what works, what doesn't, what needs to be tightened, etc.), and then revised the next draft based upon that. Well, here's the poop: the first draft filming is going online. It's not going to be the finished product, but it'll give you an idea of where we're going, I hope. If this is done well, I have a feeling that this show of ours has a real good chance of ending up on basic cable. I hope. I fucking hope, I fucking hope.
But hey, who knows? If it doesn't, well, then at least I know that I'm just going to have to try harder. Not that I'm not trying real hard right now, but if this doesn't work, then I know I have to punch it up to the next level. I'll keep you all posted.

Last thing. Sorry for the length, I'll try harder to entertain you guys next time.
Anyway, I got the download for Warm & Scratchy, which was more or less the rock response to DANGERDOOM from adult|swim. Aside from the new TV on the Radio track(interesting...), there were two tracks on there that were enough to make me track down the musicians(online), and then download(illegally) the shit out of them: Jesu and Amusement Parks on Fire.
Jesu is basically the new project from the dude that was behind Godflesh. That was the band that more or less made me think, "Hey, suicide isn't such a bad idea afterall". It's pretty much the heaviest depressing band I've ever listened to. I'm serious. I found a copy of their album 'Pure' in the radio station I worked at in college, listened to it, and was seriously depressed for weeks afterwards. It might have been the excessive alcohol/drug consumption at the time, but goddammah, did it have an impact. Which was the point, I guess.
But Jesu ain't like that, nosir. This shit is sonically dense and morose, but there's this weird light of hope in it. It's weird. The music is just so goddamned beautiful(to me). And it sort of reminds me of My Bloody Valentine, only you can sort of hear the lyrics more and if Kevin Sheilds was more into metal.
Arcade Parks on Fire is pretty much what My Bloody Valentine would have been if they had cut down the effects processing by about a 1/3, and actually followed up Loveless with something worthwhile. I've been digging on the "shoegazing"(god....genre-fication is just so goddamned stupid these days; what the fuck is progressive mathcore????) tunage for awhile, and these guys are just nailing it. You should check these guys out. And download Loveless, too. It's really, really, really brilliant. Probably one of the best albums of the 90's, right up there with anything Nirvana or nine inch nails put out. Yeah.

Awright, that's enough of this shit. I promise next time I'll try to talk about how much Mexicans smell, and how dumb black people are. Or maybe I'll just go on and on and on about how much white people love to oppress the very people they're afraid of.
Or I could just talk about my pooping habits. You never, never know.