I watched about 16hrs of Jackass yesterday. Yeah, it was the re-run of when they took over MTV, and I'm a big fan of people getting the shit knocked out of them by their own hand. Apparently Anna is too, cos she sat right along and chucked with me. Which I guess is rad, cos Jackass is primarily a dude show.
16hrs though. Goddamn, that's a lot of fucking drunk retards punching each other in the balls. I wish I'd counted, cos I'm pretty sure that there was about 1.63 shots to the groin every ten to fifteen minutes. And for all you sons of bitches that believe life imitates art...well, suck it. If it did, every male in this country would be sterile before age of 15. Actually, I'm surprised that most of us aren't already. Every dude I know has had that one accident with his bike at least twice. You know what I'm talking about. You're riding on the seat and you hit a bump. And you discover just how wonderfully that bar can cleave your testicles in two.
Which reminds me: why is it that the girls got that sloped down center bar with their lack of external genitalia? But us guys, with our poor sensitive, nerve-ridden beanbags....we get the bar that's about an inch and a half away from the seat. Good move, bike engineers. I'm sorry that you don't have balls and you're angry about it, but why did you do this to us??
I should stop talking about balls for awhile. People are going to start thinking things....
Since I'm about 15 years behind the whole "technology thing"(the most advanced piece of equipment I have in my house is an Xbox 360), I just recently figured out that if you go to Google video and search something, most of the stuff on there you can download in a format that you can slang onto your iPod or whatever. And I got all excited and threw two of the old Big Brother videos on there, which is like proto-Jackass. And it's great, cos while something looks like shit when it's all blown up, it looks really good on your little 1.25" iPod screen...especially if you have a magnifying glass.
Hiii-oh!!!!
This is me.
I rock.
I think I have some serious problems....
- josh
- Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- I talk about all the stuff that pisses me off, things that I do, and stuff that I like. Oh, and I'm also very racist, but in that funny way that only minority comedians seem to be able to pull off. Also: I am a dad and that scares the hell out of me. There's nothing that ruins being a father moreso than remembering the bullshit you used to engage in.
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